Attracting Authentic Love

Despite the tools of the digital age, attracting authentic love in a world of filters and never-ending swiping can be frustrating and disheartening.

Whether you are looking for love, or know someone that is, this is a reality for many, and for me, the story of the last 6 years of my life. 

In the efforts to find love, I went on over 150 first dates, read dozens of books, attended workshops, journaled, and even did a 40-minute tell-all about my love life on my podcast. Despite all of my efforts, none of these were a fast-pass to love, but did lead to an amazing surprise this past December when Jen Stone walked into my life. Funny enough, Jen had a very similar experience dating.

Is there a simple cookie-cutter formula for attracting authentic love? 

Not that we know of. But collectively, I think its fair to say that Jen and I have earned the equivalent of a Phd in dating –  having literally put in our 10,000 hours, so we wanted to share with you the lessons we had to learn the hard way. 

1. Put yourself out there.

It’s all about meeting the right person, not how, so be open to dating apps, set-ups, and going out socially.  You can’t script your “love story,” and it will be beautiful regardless, so don’t try to force it.

2. Be clear on what you are looking for.

Know what you want AND what you don’t want – both in a relationship & in a partner. Be specific and prioritize what’s most important. To avoid the temptations of going out with people that don’t fit what you are looking for, and to increase the likelihood of attracting your person, review and connect with your vision daily/weekly.

3. Trust your intuition & be self-aware.

Listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, let it go.  Be cognizant of your relationship patterns and be honest with yourself about the red-flags you are tempted to ignore, and the fears that make you want to run or cling. 

4. Communicate clearly.

Have the courage to share what you are you looking for, your personal values, and stories that convey who you are.  As you continue to get to know each other, don’t be afraid to have the tough conversations.
5. Have faith, have fun, and be yourself.

This was the greatest lesson for me….remaining patient, enjoying the process, and not feeling like I need to change or settle.  We all are worthy of being loved and accepted for who we are, so remember that, and know that your person is out there looking for you.

Wishing you an incredible week full of love!

Mark & Jen

PS: Jen and I shared the story of how we met on this week’s podcast.  If you are interested to hear it, click here!